Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
