so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
