nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
