: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
