Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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