69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
