It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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