smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
