Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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