I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
