so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
