She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
