I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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