im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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