I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
