Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
from now on my penis is your penis
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
