Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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