Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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