I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
