Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
