we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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