We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
