It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
