Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
