I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Mom said you looked used
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
