Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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