It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
