all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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