On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
