I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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