Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
