Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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