I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
