oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
