i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
