What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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