Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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