her vagine was all disorganized.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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