i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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