plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
