Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
