I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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