how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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