She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
