Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
