I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
