do herpes really smell.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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