I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
