Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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