He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
