omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
