She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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