It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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